Self sabotage : Six Mistakes you Fast Thinkers are Making

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You fink yr clever Cozu get so mooch dun . You are so fast inside that fast thinking head of yours that you don’t make time to stop and check all those tasks you are completing. Your emails, reports and notes left for colleagues are full of errors. You think you’re fast and clever. Some of them think you’re sloppy and a little bit stupid.

Your fast and furious is someone else’s fuzzy and flaky. Because your head values volume and speed over arriving on time and delivering a quality outcome sometimes, your lateness and inability to complete are getting in your way. You think looking busy and having so much to think about in double quick time is a sign of your amazing intellect. Your colleagues sometimes think you’re a failure with a capital F.

You are in love with the sound of thinking about 200 things rather than 2. It’s got to be better to always deliver more right? You think that the faster you can process information and get things done, the more effective you are.World renowned quantum physicist Stephen Hawking has a brain the size of a small planet and has spent over 40 years thinking about one thing, black holes.Your colleagues don’t believe that having a busy head full of thoughts means you are clever. In fact, they think your head is full of black holes where information disappears, never to be seen again.

You are skimming around the dance floor doing the quick step on your own. Everyone else is doing the Hokey Cokey. In your quest to think fast and go fast you’re exhausting yourself and getting nowhere fast. Your inability to notice the rhythm of everyone else means that your head is running on empty looking for the next space to dance in . Your colleagues are working together, more slowly and purposefully creating innovative ways to put their whole self in and shake it all about.

Your fast head is playing mind ping pong. You think this is a sign of your ability to think about multiple things at once. You can flit here, flip there and bat ideas around the amygdala like Federer can return a serve at Wimbledon. Your colleagues think you are suffering from severe headless chicken syndrome. They keep throwing you packets of seeds with intent and possibility written on them but your head is so unfocused you seem incapable of seeing either.

You’re busy feeding your addition addiction. Your desire to keep your fast thinking head moving has you adding to your to do list and the things you say yes to like a glutton in a pie eating contest who hasn’t eaten for a week. You are heading for overwhelm and your inability to think in a straight line will make your delivery and performance suffer in the longer term. You think you are overwhelmed and delivering at capacity to the best of your capability. Your colleagues think your performance is underwhelming and you could deliver more by doing less.

So what to do?

Slow it all down and develop your thinking flexibility by learning how to use fast and slow thinking purposefully every day.

You can find out more about purposeful thinking here or on FB and get a copy of my short book designed to help you think with Intent, Possibility and Purpose here.

With thanks to Brent Beshore of ADventures whose article on things you are doing to sabotage success in Forbes sparked my thinking for this piece.

 

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We Always Have A Choice

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We always have a choice, whether we realise it or not. We are even choosing when sometimes we hesitate to make a choice. For more on that and how I buy a pair of shoes, listen here.

We always have a choice, even at work.  There’s a choice about how we do the work even if apparently not about the work or project itself.

If you have started to slow down and observe your own thinking, take the time to notice today how many choices you make. In our busy lives we have developed that muscle to be able to work very quickly indeed, almost without our noticing, simply because there are so many choices required of us.

And the choices you make lead to the outcomes in your life.   If you don’t like what’s showing up, now’s the time to review your choices and particularly how you make them. Decide now to notice the next choice in your day and observe yourself making it. What are your choice shortcuts? What are your likes and dislikes and are they habitual? Are they still valid or is now the time to be making some new, deliberate choices?

“Right now you are one choice away from a new beginning – one that leads you toward becoming the fullest human being you can be.”  Oprah Winfrey

Marie x

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The Case for Slow Thinking

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I don’t necessarily mean lazy thinking or slow responsiveness here; maybe a more accurate adjective would be considered. When you have dozens of tasks and people begging for your attention throughout the day, sometimes you just need to cut the chatter in your brain and focus down on one thing at a time. This may seem counter-intuitive, but it really can make all the difference.

Instead of trying to mentally multitask, when you’re handed a plateful of things to figure out and get done, slow things down and figure out what demands your attention most. By focusing this way, you allow a freer flow of thoughts and increased creativity.

Consider this: your brain actually solves problems on its own. Ever struggle to remember a movie title all day and then it “hits” you in the shower or while doing something completely different? Your brain was subconsciously searching for the information you already had. Apply this to your daily life by moving from one direct task to another.

It’s important to develop a healthy thinking habit like this. Otherwise you might just slip into careless, close-minded thinking and that really wouldn’t do.

So what could you slow down today? What would it help you to sit with for longer and consider more carefully 

S_L_O_W

Marie x

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The Case Against Fast Thinking

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You’re frantically trying to get your day’s work done, running through numbers and times and tasks, constantly blazing ideas and solving problems in your mind… sounds like the way to think to be productive, right?

Well, not exactly. While being able to think quickly on your feet is an essential skill for anyone of any profession, fast-thinking, adrenaline-soaked cognizance can be a detriment. Undertaking the many obligations that we have to get through in a day may at a logical level, suggest this is an efficient way of using your brain, but the fact is that it can lead to sloppy work and increased stress.

The common title “Jack of all trades, master of none” comes to mind here. By trying to take on numerous tasks at the same time, thinking about future ones as we work and so forth, we cheat the present task at hand of our full attention. In truth, we lose our mindfulness and do things in a kind of mindless fashion.

This way of behaving also increases stress, as the mind doesn’t have a chance to achieve rest. With stress comes not only myriad health problems, but lack of satisfaction at work and more unintentional slip-ups; constant fast thinking sets up a chain reaction of sorts.

So if you think thinking fast and constantly is helping you get things done, slow your head down and think again. Consider taking on one thing at a time, even if it means doing fewer things in your busy day.

If you were to decide right now to deal with only one thing at a time and slow down your busy head- what is that one thing that you might deal with/think about for the next 30 minutes? Yes I mean right now……….

Marie x 

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Is Your Thinking Misinformed?

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For all of the many scholarly and intellectual benefits that have come from the information age and rapid growth of Internet search, our ease of access to information could be leading to gross misinterpretations.

Consider this like a triangle, pine tree, or whatever your favourite pyramid-metaphor: at the pointy top we have the few sources of real, well-researched data (peer reviewed or original research), and as we go down, we get wider, more numerous sources of derivative reporting. People blog continually to improve traffic or just to share their personal interpretations based on data they’ve seen, and as we go on down we get more and more second, third and fourth hand information that’s further and further from the real facts or truth of a situation or piece of original work.

And what makes all this worse: the more fast info there is at hand, the more we get used to finding information fast; and the more that happens, the less we slow down to question what we read. Continue reading »

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The magic of ordinary thinking men

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I spent 24 hours exploring getting happy with 6 men of Wales last week. Before you create some strange image from the recesses of your imagination, it was purely professional.

I deliver a “send me your best and stressed ” explorations experience in organisations. A kind of self reflection experience which addreses some “what” and “how” questions . Things like; where am I , what do I value, who am I becoming, what do I want, how might I get there, how can I shift my state in ten minutes, how do I remain happy, how do I remember that life is good(great even).

Ultimately, how do I remind myself to live this one wonderful life well in all areas be that career, health, wealth ,relationships or simply within myself and with the world ? How do I maximise the experience of being me and of being around me?

We get through a lot in 24 Hours. A lot of stopping, reflecting, checking in, planning, and the ultimate luxury these days for senior managers …..We spend time THINKING

There’s a lot of power in thinking. Particularly for senior managers. Having some time and opportunity to stop, kick back a bit and do some exploration in a safe and supportive environment is in my world a necessity for living a focused and fruitful existence. If I was the minister for Health I would prescribe a 24 hour annual stop and explore experience for the top 100 managers in every organisation. To stop and think .To take responsibility for what is going on around you and in the roles you play in life.I’ve been coaching and training personal development for enough years to know from clients how beneficial they have found it to take the time to stop and pause between the everyday doing and delivering. Frankly, it refocuses our sense of control and personal responsibility and that inevitably reminds us how powerful we are and reduces stress.

I really enjoyed working with the men from Wales. They’re all in positions of influence. As such, they are wise teachers, who influence the lives of others both professionally and personally.

Sometimes I wonder if we celebrate the qualities and contribution of men enough. I wonder if we realise the responsibility that men feel as partners, husbands, fathers, sons, carers, providers, workers, managers, entrepreneurs and citizens ? If we take enough time to acknowledge their experience in a changing world. I don’t have the answer. It’s just a question that I pose and ponder from time to time.

I love how Nic Askew captures the powerful and positive influence of men through his many films. His film this morning highlights the quiet strength of male role models simply and powerfully and you can view it here .
It reminds us that everyday spirituality is just that- everyday.We are spiritual beings walking in a world of doing , gathering and having. We walk with the teachers in our lives and so often, we are the teachers of the living whether we walk with themor have left this life. Here’s to all the men of Wales and elsewhere this week who are learning how to live from that place of thoughtful, quiet strength.

Ask yourself. What roles do I hold in my life and who am I influencing in those roles? How am I being a great teacher ?

Have a great week.

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Digging through our Roots and Planting new Trees in New Landscapes

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“There exists a different state of mind beyond our cultural conditioning and programmed assumptions”.

 This quote is from Buddha’s four noble truths. It originates from the 6th century BC when cultural conditioning was different and yet was, it seems, as rooted in our thinking as a frame of everyday unconscious reference as it is today. People viewed their current experience and thoughts through the lens of their historical understanding and experience.

 We don’t know what we don’t yet know. We live most of our lives taking our assumptions as the basis of our understanding and living out our experience through the limits of our repeating patterns. We learn these repeating patterns from our own child and adult experiences and those of the people around us. Their stories, rituals, mythology and experience of the world has influenced not just our experience, but our thinking about that experience.

 This means that sometimes we do things, think things, say things and interpret things out of habit. We assume that we know how a situation will play out, what others think, what they will likely say in response to us, and how others in our life will respond in a given set of circumstances. We don’t. We are assuming these things based on our past experience or more likely, the experience we remember which may not be accurate.

 If we get rid of our assumptions and just come to situations with an open mind and a sense of possibility. From a calm, accepting place of whatever happens and whatever comes is fine. From within that space, go create some new stories.

 “There is a path to this different state of mind, whereby we let go of an old identity, and realise our own perfect nature.“

 So, check where things are not going well for you at the moment and ask yourself, what am I assuming here?

How are my old learned patterns showing up?

If these are not useful to me, what will I choose instead for the future?

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Running and Ruminating on the Basement Steps of Suffering

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Are you making it all too difficult by ruminating with the room mate in your head?
 
 “The primary cause of our suffering is not our experience, but our response to our experience; what we think about it.“ Buddha. 6th century BC.
 
Stuff happens and I think if the Buddha was looking at our lives today he would suggest we stop thinking about the negative. That we might change the locus of our or focus away from sense making that upsets us or causes disharmony in the head. We choose how we respond to life situations be they problematic or not.
 
Part of that choice is in how we think about what has happened, is happening or may happen. The way we think about and interpret that experience is what affects us most rather than the experience itself.
 
So, if I audition for a role in a play and I don’t get it. I can choose to feel rejected by the experience, can see it as a learning opportunity for next time or can make decisions about whether I want to go to any other auditions.
 
If I focus on the rejection, the mere use of that word or words like rejected, dejected and affected may cause a reaction, may move my focus to not feeling good enough. It may encourage me to feel “less than”, may encourage me to consider myself as a failure, may leave me feeling like a victim. It may encourage me to consider that I have a stamp on my head saying “reject” and every time I go for a part I will likely get the same rejection response because it’s so obvious that I am not good enough. After all, the marking on my forehead is there for all to see is it not? Do you feel sorry for poor me yet?  Have I suffered enough do you think?
 
Let me illustrate……If I focus instead on the fact that I live in a city of possibility where there are hundreds of plays staged every week. If I focus on the fact that I have secured parts in plays before, that I love the auditions and the experience of going to different theatres and meeting other actors. If I see not getting a part as a blessing, because I get to go and explore what else may be out there, my life moves on and I am the one saying “next!” Would you see me as someone who suffers or someone who has had more positive experiences in life than the average actor?
 
Same circumstances, different focus. Same experience, different  thinking.
 
It’s just a choice and we are only ever one interpretation of our circumstances away from delight or towards it.
 
Marie x

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The wheel of tortuous thinking

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lighteningAre you torturing yourself in your head?
 
“All our desires, disappointments, negativity and fear, are a torture chamber of our own cognitive creation”
 
This quote is from Buddha’s four noble truths. It originates from the 6th century BC, so, I think it safe to say that it falls in the category of ancient wisdom.
 
To my fallible mind this tells us that anything unhelpful is our own head creation. We desire the undesirable and seemingly unattainable in an attempt to create our own self-fulfilling prophecy of torment. We make appointments with the “dissing” of ourselves and others by gossiping and engaging in negative self talk. We see the negative and sit in the state of victim moving in a downward spiral like Alice in Wonderland falling down the rabbit hole. Then, just when we consider that there is a possibility of experiencing things differently, we go find the fear and stick it in our heads anyway.
 
We create the thinking that torments us. Sometimes we can do this to the extent that it sits with us like a familiar foe. We may even fool ourselves into thinking that this thinking is our friend. It can look like a friend because it becomes familiar. The more we think about it, the hamster wheel of thinking keeps racing.  Before we know it, we have created and collected other negative thoughts. The hamster wheel of negative thinking is so full it becomes heavier and heavier as we travel faster and faster running with this pile of similar thought types hitting us like mind lashing, head clashing pains in the proverbial.  
 
We created it, we fed it, we ran with it, we made it our cognitive credo. The good news is, we can just learn to stop the wheel of tortuous thinking. It starts with noticing, and from that place, slowing down the head and experiencing the absence of thinking. Experiencing a space for great thoughts to come in as invited guests who we will nuture, love, feed and sustain.
 
It’s all a choice. It’s your choice.

What choices are you making about thinking that are making your head spin and spiral ?
 
Marie x

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