Digging through our Roots and Planting new Trees in New Landscapes

 

There exists a different state of mind beyond our cultural conditioning and programmed assumptions”.

 This quote is from Buddha’s four noble truths. It originates from the 6th century BC when cultural conditioning was different and yet was, it seems, as rooted in our thinking as a frame of everyday unconscious reference as it is today. People viewed their current experience and thoughts through the lens of their historical understanding and experience.

 We don’t know what we don’t yet know. We live most of our lives taking our assumptions as the basis of our understanding and living out our experience through the limits of our repeating patterns. We learn these repeating patterns from our own child and adult experiences and those of the people around us. Their stories, rituals, mythology and experience of the world has influenced not just our experience, but our thinking about that experience.

 This means that sometimes we do things, think things, say things and interpret things out of habit. We assume that we know how a situation will play out, what others think, what they will likely say in response to us, and how others in our life will respond in a given set of circumstances. We don’t. We are assuming these things based on our past experience or more likely, the experience we remember which may not be accurate.

 If we get rid of our assumptions and just come to situations with an open mind and a sense of possibility. From a calm, accepting place of whatever happens and whatever comes is fine. From within that space, go create some new stories.

 “There is a path to this different state of mind, whereby we let go of an old identity, and realise our own perfect nature.“

 So, check where things are not going well for you at the moment and ask yourself, what am I assuming here?

How are my old learned patterns showing up?

If these are not useful to me, what will I choose instead for the future?

THANKSGIVING –Oh Happy Day

In the spirit of giving thanks for the rich harvest of life today. I invite you to think about who and what you are grateful for. Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends and those temporarily inhabiting. Enjoy!!!!

Today, I give thanks …

For family who are just the best, even when they are acting out like pains in the posterior. Especially when they tolerate me being a pain in the bum on the VERY rare occasion that that happens.

For friends who make me laugh and cry out loud. Who challenge my thinking and my self-perception, reminding me that my ego is in fact fairly small and it could come out more when invited.

For clients who rock my world so often with their insight and preparedness to continue growing into ever more successful human beings.

For you dear reader. I appreciate that you take an interest in what I have to say and my take on this precious life of ours.

For the coaches I have worked with in this past year who have held up mirrors, shined a light, challenged my thinking, and generally helped me to be a better coach and a more rounded individual.

For those people who have moved on from me in this lifetime during this year for their lessons and their love.

For everyone who supplies me with anything that makes my days easier to manage from my lovely cleaner to the ocado delivery guy.

For those people who organise things that I just turn up to; trainings, dinners, network events and days out.

For my body that keeps carrying me around and works like a well oiled machine when I look after it and treat it respectfully.

For my mind that stays healthy and keeps expanding and reminds me that the quietness within takes practice.

For the roof over my head and the many roofs I have visited around the world this year which have provided shelter whatever the weather.

For water, light and heat, both natural and artificial for their sustenance.

For living in a democracy like the UK which works fine most of the time.

For the occasional miracle and that I don’t always know from where and whence it came. Just that it did.

Here are some peeps I am grateful to who fall into the category above. I apologise if I have missed you off here. It wasn’t my intention. It’s simply that there is so much to be grateful for in life.

http://mandyevans.com/

http://www.empowering-solutions.co.uk/

http://www.robertholden.org/

http://www.billohanlon.com/

http://www.stevechandler.com/index.html

http://www.theultimatecoach.net/profile.html

http://www.marianne.com/

http://www.supercoach.com/

http://www.theboothbyinstitute.org/

http://lynnrobinson.com/

http://www.sekanikolic.com

http://www.aventesi.com/

http://www.parapublishing.com/sites/para/about/danpoynter.cfm

http://sethgodin.com

http://marthabeck.com

http://brucelipton.com

http://hayhouse.co.uk/

http://www.alternatives.org.uk/

http://besomebodyinc.com/category/poetry/

http://www.jennywilliamscoaching.co.uk/

http://fionajacob.com/

http://www.suetrinder.com/

http://www.idacoaching.com/explore

http://amazinglifedesign.com/

http://www.maryhaines.com/

http://ovationcoaching.com

http//bevinlynch.com

http:thelindseypractice.com

Mark Beasley

Jenny Ashton

http://mediopartnership.com/p/about-medio/meet-the-team/steve-tarpey

http://www.coachcharrise.com/

http://www.krayna.blogspot.com/

http://spicelearning.com/

http://www.positive-belief.co.uk/

http://elesecoit.com/

http://thatconfidenceguy.com/

http://onlinebusinessgym.com/tag/marion-ryan/

http://www.markshaw.biz/

http://www.compuaid.co.uk/

http://www.vodafone.co.uk/

http://www.bt.com/

https://www.facebook.com/

http://twitter.com/

http://hootsuite.com

http://www.ocado.com/webshop/

http://www.amazon.co.uk/

http://lovefilm.com

And a light never forgotten……

http://www.justgiving.com/Jeni-Purdie

Running and Ruminating on the Basement Steps of Suffering

 
Are you making it all too difficult by ruminating with the room mate in your head?
 
 “The primary cause of our suffering is not our experience, but our response to our experience; what we think about it.“ Buddha. 6th century BC.
 
Stuff happens and I think if the Buddha was looking at our lives today he would suggest we stop thinking about the negative. That we might change the locus of our or focus away from sense making that upsets us or causes disharmony in the head. We choose how we respond to life situations be they problematic or not.
 
Part of that choice is in how we think about what has happened, is happening or may happen. The way we think about and interpret that experience is what affects us most rather than the experience itself.
 
So, if I audition for a role in a play and I don’t get it. I can choose to feel rejected by the experience, can see it as a learning opportunity for next time or can make decisions about whether I want to go to any other auditions.
 
If I focus on the rejection, the mere use of that word or words like rejected, dejected and affected may cause a reaction, may move my focus to not feeling good enough. It may encourage me to feel “less than”, may encourage me to consider myself as a failure, may leave me feeling like a victim. It may encourage me to consider that I have a stamp on my head saying “reject” and every time I go for a part I will likely get the same rejection response because it’s so obvious that I am not good enough. After all, the marking on my forehead is there for all to see is it not? Do you feel sorry for poor me yet?  Have I suffered enough do you think?
 
Let me illustrate……If I focus instead on the fact that I live in a city of possibility where there are hundreds of plays staged every week. If I focus on the fact that I have secured parts in plays before, that I love the auditions and the experience of going to different theatres and meeting other actors. If I see not getting a part as a blessing, because I get to go and explore what else may be out there, my life moves on and I am the one saying “next!” Would you see me as someone who suffers or someone who has had more positive experiences in life than the average actor?
 
Same circumstances, different focus. Same experience, different  thinking.
 
It’s just a choice and we are only ever one interpretation of our circumstances away from delight or towards it.
 
Marie x