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THANKSGIVING –Oh Happy Day

In the spirit of giving thanks for the rich harvest of life today. I invite you to think about who and what you are grateful for. Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends and those temporarily inhabiting. Enjoy!!!!

 Today, I give thanks …

 For family who are just the best, even when they are acting out like pains in the posterior. Especially when they tolerate me being a pain in the bum on the VERY rare occasion that that happens.

 For friends who make me laugh and cry out loud. Who challenge my thinking and my self-perception, reminding me that my ego is in fact fairly small and it could come out more when invited.

 For clients who rock my world so often with their insight and preparedness to continue growing into ever more successful human beings.

 For you dear reader. I appreciate that you take an interest in what I have to say and my take on this precious life of ours.

 For the coaches I have worked with in this past year who have held up mirrors, shined a light, challenged my thinking, and generally helped me to be a better coach and a more rounded individual.

 For those people who have moved on from me in this lifetime during this year for their lessons and their love. 

 For  everyone who supplies me with anything that makes my days easier to manage from my lovely cleaner to the ocado delivery guy.

 For those people who organise things that I just turn up to; trainings, dinners, network events and days out.

 For my body that keeps carrying me around and works like a well oiled machine when I look after it and treat it respectfully.

 For my mind that stays healthy and keeps expanding and reminds me that the quietness within takes practice.

 For the roof over my head and the many roofs I have visited around the world this year which have provided shelter whatever the weather. 

 For water, light and heat, both natural and artificial for their sustenance. 

 For living in a democracy like the UK which works fine most of the time.

 For the occasional miracle and that I don’t always know from where and whence it came. Just that it did.  

 Here are some peeps I am grateful to who fall into the category above. I apologise if I have missed you off here. It wasn’t my intention. It’s simply that there is so much to be grateful for in life.

http://mandyevans.com/

http://www.empowering-solutions.co.uk/

http://www.robertholden.org/

http://www.billohanlon.com/

http://www.stevechandler.com/index.html

http://www.theultimatecoach.net/profile.html

http://www.marianne.com/

http://www.supercoach.com/

http://www.theboothbyinstitute.org/

http://lynnrobinson.com/

http://www.sekanikolic.com

http://www.aventesi.com/

http://www.parapublishing.com/sites/para/about/danpoynter.cfm

http://sethgodin.com

http://marthabeck.com

http://brucelipton.com

http://hayhouse.co.uk/

http://www.alternatives.org.uk/

http://besomebodyinc.com/category/poetry/

http://www.jennywilliamscoaching.co.uk/

http://fionajacob.com/

http://www.suetrinder.com/

http://www.idacoaching.com/explore

http://amazinglifedesign.com/

http://www.maryhaines.com/

http://ovationcoaching.com

http//bevinlynch.com

http:thelindseypractice.com

Mark Beasley

Jenny Ashton

http://mediopartnership.com/p/about-medio/meet-the-team/steve-tarpey

http://www.coachcharrise.com/

http://www.krayna.blogspot.com/

http://spicelearning.com/

http://www.positive-belief.co.uk/

http://elesecoit.com/

http://thatconfidenceguy.com/

http://onlinebusinessgym.com/tag/marion-ryan/

http://www.markshaw.biz/

http://www.compuaid.co.uk/

http://www.vodafone.co.uk/

http://www.bt.com/

https://www.facebook.com/

http://twitter.com/

http://hootsuite.com

http://www.ocado.com/webshop/

http://www.amazon.co.uk/

http://lovefilm.com

 And a light never forgotten……

 http://www.justgiving.com/Jeni-Purdie

Rogue Trading – Careers built on gambling

There’s a reason why the gaming industry often has contractual terms preventing their staff from holding an account or betting in their own shops. When people work in betting shops, online gambling and tracks , frankly the temptation to bet on anything and everything that pops onto your radar during a working day is too great. So, generally,they go and have a flutter in the betting shop down the road at lunchtime instead. Most of the time, they can’t help it you see.

They love taking risks. They thrive on the thrill of the potential win. The idea of losing pops up of course, but it soon pops off as the unconscious mind tells itself. “It’s only a tenner” , then “it’s only a twenty”. Then there are those who know what they’re doing but can’t stop because they’ve got themselves into so much hot water that they feel they have to keep going because the next bet will get them back on track (excuse the pun).

The Banking industry is not very different. It’s a risk and reward business.   In the gambling industry people setting the odds really know their sport, their news, the probability of anything in fact. The odds reflect the likelihood of an event happening and this changes as events unfold. The value of the odds on offer reflect that. Profit is made by assessing risk and reward in favour of the gambling organisation.

In the banking world, traders effectively influence prices by trading. They are recruited based on their ability to asses risk and reward really fast and well. They aim to buy low and sell high and in making trades daily they influence the market. Specialist traders really do their research. They know their markets and the products they trade in. They understand how currency fluctuations can affect stock minute by second. It goes wrong when they lose their wining streak. When they’ve made a mistake in the likely balance of risk-reward. When, they’ve taken a gamble with the firm’s money. When this happens, the temptation is to find a missing tenner or a twenty ( normally with a few noughts on the end)  The trading world is unforgiving. It has to be, because they’re playing with other people’s money. If you lose your mojo well you will quickly find your no longer drinking mojitos and eating caviar canapes. You’ll be down the dog and duck nursing half a lager with a packet of salted nuts. (no pun intended)

I’ve coached and consulted in both of these sectors, so before you start writing comments about how it’s not really like that, this is a naive representation of how the world works in these areas and the like, read it again. I’ve taken the explanation down to the simplest level deliberately.

Many people in both of these sectors are good at what they do most of the time BECAUSE they’re good at taking risks and they like to see the rewards from those risks in their salary and bonus. If you were the VP in a gambling or banking organisation you would really want these people on your team. You would actively look for the risk-reward psychology.

There is a single but important difference between these two areas of activity. Gambling in the UK is regulated to the hilt both for consumers and for the way the organisations handle their activity in real time. If they get the odds wrong and there’s a run on the betting receipts, the company pays out and investors make a loss. On the other hand, if a UK based bank runs out of money, its investors make a loss and the taxpayer pays up too. Time for a bit of banking reform to separate out retail and investment banking anyone ?

Yes Kweku Adeboli has done a terrible thing.  However, he has gained some sympathy in my book by owning up to his own actions. To me, that’s worth a lot.Being willing to take responsibility for his actions knowing the consequences of owning up holds a modicum of integrity for me.

The sooner we realise that some careers are based on gambling and stop being shocked when a risk taker takes a risk too far and tries to cover it up, the easier it will be to regulate trading.

We need to wake up and grow up.

Marie x

 

What are you doing right now?

I received this from Steve Chandler last week and l wanted to share it because…

  • It pulled me up short whilst sitting at my PC .
  • It prompted me to consider the question “What do I have to show for the last 7 years of my life?”.
  • What am I doing right now; TODAY that is creating my wonderful future life?

 I’ve reproduced in full here..

 ”Seven years from now, what will you have to show for what you’re doing right now? If your answer is, ‘not much,’ perhaps you should consider a new plan, one that might generate a different answer, or, at the very least, be a more fun way to waste seven years.”

- Seth Godin

I like to ponder Seth Godin’s quote above because it leads me back into my day. In what way would I live (and work) this day that would contribute to the life I’d have seven years from now. Versus just “getting through.” It’s amazing how creative we can be by quickly imagining the future, and then living the rest of the day in the best possible present moment.  Steve Chandler  www.coachingprosperityschool.com

I know from talking to coaching clients and organizations that there is a lot of fear out there at the moment. The economy, risk and reputation management, cash, terrorism, family pressures, concerns about teens, concerns about older people, hunger, human conflict and the like.

 The truth is, these things, these issues, these thoughts, this “stuff” is always there. The truth is, we can sit in a place of worry, foggy thinking, head churning, anxiety- ridden mush, or, we can act. We can DO something. Whether that something is a small tiny step or a giant leap, change requires an action. A doing of, a movement towards, a step on the journey, a shift your butt – call it what you like. What you have to show for being on this planet doesn’t happen in our heads. It manifests in our actions.     

So, what are you visioning? What is YOUR vision for the world you would like to live in and the life you would like to create?

What do you want to create?

How will the minutes you spend today move you towards that?

Are you DOING?

Are you DOING RIGHT?

Are you DOING RIGHT NOW?

 

 Marie X

 

 

 

 

 

 

Re-lighting my fire with my alma mater

I’m visiting my old stomping ground in Cambridge this week at the University Business School. I come every year for a whole week to mentor existing and aspiring business owners during the Ignite programme. Every year, I am astounded by the potential science and technology that will radically change life as we know it once some of these innovations get into the market place.

I am amazed every year at the potential of business owners to start a new venture again in a completely different area of business that they have “always wanted to try” either because it is their true and enduring passion or because they believe they can do it better and cheaper than the existing players.

The geeks who want to turn their great research and proto types into a product sometimes leave me speechless at the prospect of seeing and experiencing their technology in the coming years. Those of you reading this who know me, know how hard this is; I usually have something to say about everything. Helping them shape their ideas and prototype products into worked through business pitches for potential investors is truly a privilege.

I feel like Aristotle listening to someone saying “and in not too many years people will be able to talk to friends and business contacts on a thing called a telephone through a series of cables. Not so very long after that, they will be able to talk on a device to anyone in the world through a similar, smaller, hand held device which connects people primarily through satellites –they will be mobile devices they can use from almost anywhere in the world.

Some of the ideas and applications coming our way are beyond belief. What will be sold and traded in the future and how it will be traded is changing rapidly. I love to see these developments and consider what our day-to-day lives will be like. What our lifestyles will be like in even 5, 10 or 20 years from now. 

What I know for myself is that my passion for business, for business owners and for my own business gets replenished during this week. The participants report that the week out of their business or their normal day to day work provides an opportunity to; take stock, reflect calmly, clarify their business vision and develop a sense of renewed possibility.

So, my question to you is- when was the last time you felt something similar about your work, about your business?

If you haven’t experienced it for some time,  isn’t it time you pulled yourself and your business out of regression and stagnation? What one action could you take this week to make this happen?  

Marie x

Who wants the perfect GURU?

Who wants a perfect coach, the perfect facilitator of people development without a shadow? Most people don’t.

I’ve been with lots of coaches this past week and had quite a few discussions about making judgements, about being judgmental, about shadow work and light work. Do you know what? Just because our profession of choice is to enable others, it doesn’t mean we’re all perfect GURUs of goodliness. Our clients don’t want us to be either.

 Clients often want to be around real people with real idiosyncrasies, seeming imperfections and the odd bit of incongruence that challenges our views and thinking of them and their ideas. Otherwise- they would be just too “practically perfect in every way ” and really quite unbelievable wouldn’t they?

This doesn’t apply to me of course. I am indeed a paragon of perfection- above critique or criticism and beyond reproach for my ideas and ideals at all times. My coaching clients follow me unquestioningly into the dark night towards the light, casting off their shadows like Peter Pan and Wendy flying away from Never land- Yeah right!

 Er?  Wrong.  My clients sometimes challenge me about saying nothing. About having no opinion about what they are doing and where they are, about not telling them what to do, what to say, what to be etc. A client even shouted at me recently. She said “ what’s the F****ing point of you if you can’t just tell me what to do! You’re supposed to be my coach, on my side, with me all the way- guiding me towards my shiny self-just tell me how to get out of this!”

Well I could have. After all it was blindingly obvious. Clear as the nose on her face what the answer was. It was “go”. She sat with her dilemma. 

In sitting with me, (and a few well chosen questions-because I have my uses and it’s what she pays me for) after about half an hour, she said, “thank you-I know the answer. Thank you Marie, thank you so much…. It’s so obvious that I want to stay and sort this out with him”. I simply nodded with a knowing look.

My “go” was a judgement I was making based on what I saw and heard from her. But of course, I had only part of her story. The bit she wanted me to hear first. When I dropped the fleeting judgement and allowed her to find her own way, she did.

So my question for you today is….

How often do you make the fleeting judgement? How often do you decide on what the person’s story is and what they should do and how they should act/behave before you have the full picture?

Marie x

Flattering the Boss

This is not surprising to me. What is surprising is that the research comes with a how-to provided (perhaps inadvertently) by the American Bar Association Journal.

According to the study, here are the traits that are most likely to be rewarded.

1) Frame flattery as advice-seeking. For example, you can ask, “How were you able to close that deal so successfully?”

2) Argue before accepting a manager’s opinion.

3) Compliment the manager to friends in his or her social network.

4) Act as if you realize that flattery will make the manager uncomfortable. For example, you can say, “I don’t want to embarrass you but your presentation was really top-notch.”

5) Agree with the manager’s values before agreeing with his or her opinions.

6) Tell the manager’s friends how much you agree with his or her values.

7) Bring up affiliations you think you may have in common with the manager, such as a religious group or political party.

To me, this list is incredibly handy. I think maybe people don’t like brown-nosing behavior because they think anyone could do it if they put aside their moral compass.  But this is not true. For many people, brown-nosing is very hard, not because it’s immoral per se, but because it’s so hard to think of what to say. The nuances required for successful brown-nosing behavior are like trigonometry for your emotions – too complicated to be done on the fly.

I can memorize this list. Or maybe just one or two from the list, and then I can try to say something like this when I want to make someone feel good.

And this is why I don’t understand why people think brown-nosing is compromising their integrity. Brown-nosing is just making someone feel good. Isn’t this always a nice thing to do? How could it ever hurt anyone?

Are you taking purposeful action or just moving about?

"Never confuse motion with action."

    Benjamin Franklin

I am enjoying thinking about confusion. I was thinking about how we confuse similarity or similar sounding words. I find Consulting clients who do this sometimes. Organisations and those who lead and manage them can convince themselves that they are moving forward and taking action when sometimes- they're not. They're doing lots of doing.They're in Motion and often using lots of e-motion and it feels like they're moving forwards because there's energy behind it.In reality, they're expending lots of energy tiring their people and themselves out with loads of activity. But their not engaged in purposeful and useful action. 

They're moving the chess pieces around and fiddling with paper, having meetings that don't add anything but make people feel like they're adding something. My advice if you are in this situation and have some influence is -STOP. Get as many people as you can influence in your orbit at work to stop. Ask yourselves, "What is it that we are really aiming for here? What is our purpose? What is the great work we are here to do? What is the most useful contribution we can make as individuals and collectively towards our goal?

Only when you have the answers to every what question you can think of, do you move on to How do we do that? Where do we do that, by when will we do it and Who is going to do what in delivering that big what?

You see? All organizational development and business is about answering really easy questions, planning out the delivery of the answers. The action? Well, that comes last when you've worked out everything else sometimes that involves physically moving, sometimes it involves sitting in confusion for a bit.

So, what are you moving towards and when you can answer that… what purposeful, results filled actions are you going to take to create the right results?

Marie x



Don’t these slackers realise their jobs are at risk in Recession?

Last time, I wrote about how managerial behaviour can sometimes cause ineffective methods of working and unrealistic expectations of "presentism" in staff.There are two sides to every workplace and many of you may have been wondering "Where HAS she been I am a manager or a colleague in an organisation where in recession staff are willing to do even
less!Where my colleagues are becoming stubborn, difficult, lazy (insert whatever negative adjective you want here) and some people are a pain in the proverbial. 

I know.

This is not the first recession I have seen. What feels different and what seems to change each time is the discontent experienced through staff attitude and the response of those who are not affected by redundancy. Those that are either left behind in organisations or are terrified that they will be expected to carry out more work because colleagues have left.So what actually happens is that staff can become less effective. Some of this is a a lack of motivation and some it is subtle (and sometimes not so subtle)sabotage.

So imagine you have someone who is less than motivated, they feel that they are likely to inherit more work,they're worried about their job, their partners job or the economic cost of life in general and no wonder they start- acting up. yes, just like small children do.Employees start sticking their heels in. This can manifest itself in lots of ways. In, not wanting to implement change,in actively creating problems by working slower, by spending more time on tasks they like rather than tasks that need to be done to deliver what the organisation needs. People start doing lots of doing to look busy when this may not be what makes the difference to the organisation being successful).

Disciplinaries increase generally during recession because organisations will start to increase their focus on effectiveness, mediation activity increases a bit as organisations seek to resolve complex issues between staff and management.Those actions and behaviours that were just about tolerable pre- recession become a noticeable problem .

But this isn't the whole story. they also increase because of the direct actions of individual staff. When someone feels threatened there is a tendency to get ready for an argument, to get defensive or get more anxious. In this process of "getting ready", people start to display unacceptable behaviours,start working less and not delivering and begin to articulate and identify any and every historical problem they have had with the organisation. ( It's a bit like a marriage on the brink of a potential divorce).

Grievance activity increases and people generally become disaffected.
Left unchecked, this can have a ripple effect amongst other staff creating either similar dissatisfaction or resulting in staff feeling that their colleagues are "getting away with it".

Managers can get a little slap happy with the disciplinaries, more experienced managers overturn their decisions on appeal as wrong decisions or poor process, either because the original manager hasn't listened to good HR advice or because the HR advice is poor.This makes for at least one or two other disaffected staff in the form of managers and HR people. Is anyone reading this blog post exhausted yet ? Either by the sheer ridiculousness of it all or by the various chains of disastrous and unfortunate events.

So what is to be done – ? It's quite easy really;

As managers, learn to say the things you find it hard to say and handle those difficult behaviours head on and EARLY ( no festering of tricky issues left un-tackled allowed) by giving good feedback and explaining why someone needs to contribute or behave differently.If you need to take management action- keep it focused and fair.

As staff,remember the reason you go to work is to satisfy a want. It is different for different people and for most it relates to enjoyment of money, job content, opportunities for development, identity with the organisation's cause, convenience in terms of location.Whatever the reason you want to work or choose to work where you do ( because YOU DO CHOOSE) remember it, and decide to make it as pleasurable an experience as possible .  Be happy where you work or.. be happy somewhere else.

Some people don't have a choice- most do. Many behave like they don't because frankly it's easier to be angry and disaffected than take responsibility sometimes, particularly in recession.

Wherever you are you choose your own behaviour and attitude- Your job- choose well.

marie x