I’ve been thinking about love a lot lately. About how we express it and experience it.
As a young child, I don’t recall ever feeling that I wasn’t loved.
I thought I was adopted once and searched avidly for my true birth certificate because there was no way, on that particular day that I could possibly belong to my family. On another occasion, I ran away with my little vanity case (with matching umbrella) age 5 after a disagreement with my teenage sister about a board game. I had lost and she normally would have just allowed me to win. I sat in the wardrobe for at whole 20 minutes (timed precisely on my plastic watch) before I emerged and stomped downstairs declaring that I had been missing, had packed a bag and left home. That clearly “no one cared as no –one had even called the police or came looking for me or anything!” My mother, as quick as a flash scooped me up and said “ oh I am so sorry lovey, we thought you were in the wardrobe sulking about the game. If we had known you had left home, we would have had the whole street, the police, the army, the air force and the queen’s guard out looking until we found you. Thank goodness you are safe and decided to come back to us. We love you too much to let you go a wandering with your vanity. Would you like a chocolate biscuit love?”
Now, my family weren’t big on saying the words “I love you” and yet, we always knew we loved each other. I knew that I was much loved because of how my parents and other family members behaved towards each other . It was in the actions. In the demonstrations of love. that I learned to recognise love.
I grew up in Yorkshire, where ”love” was used to describe everyone all of the time , “yes love”, ” when is the next bus love?”, “ how are you love?” , “do you want to get your homework done love?”, “ have you got the time love?” The use of “love” was an expression at the level of identity (you are love).
So, I grew up believing “I am love. My name is Marie and I am love”.
These days I say it more explicitly to family members and friends. I haven’t lived in Yorkshire for years so the language habit has gone. Frankly, if I were to say “yes love” and “hello love” in London there are many who would think I had changed my profession and now worked nights in darkened doorways. And, in part, I make a point of telling them, because……. I just do.
So…………..how about you and yours?
Have you told them lately that you love them?
If you need a little encouragement, this lovely James taylor song will help -just click the link Shower them with love